People I Know ( March 2005)
People I Know
As the month of Valentine’s passes, I prepare to be deluged with love stories from people I know, people they know, and people that the people they know, know. There will be stories of love at first sight, engagements, relationship breakthroughs and, break-ups.
“Did you hear” is a common phrase I have come to expect over the telephone or over a plate of appetizers. Even if some stories sound like urban myths, most are good, juicy, private material for about 5 mins. After that, with the speed that gossip travels around the city, the stories become common knowledge. In some cases, they are even plagiarized to fit other people’s retelling of events.
For example, have you heard about the one wherein Mr. Non-Committal realizes the error of his ways when he finally wakes up to realize he’s about to lose the love of his life? I’m sure you have. And if you are a male reader (which you most likely are, if you’re reading this magazine) this story may have been used on you in order to get YOU to commit.
How about the one where this couple had been brother-sister-type friends for many years, until that fateful day their hormones kick in and BAM! – it’s true love. Yeah, it happens all the time and it’s normally justified by the saying that the best relationships are based on true friendship.
There is also the one of Person X ends up with Person Y‘s boyfriend/ girlfriend/ husband/ wife. Ho-hum, you say. It’s scandalous at first, but in 10 years no one’s going to care. In matters of love, if it’s not hot off the press, it’s certainly old news.
I was wondering though if one’s personal relationship should really be for public consumption. I guess that’s dependent on the people involved. Most friends dish out the details to others in moments of kilig, although I think it’s more apparent with women rather than men. Having been privy to several boys’ nights out, I’ve observed that the recounting of the start or end of a relationship is normally greeted with feigned indifference and a few congratulatory (or sympathetic) pats on the back.
Some men don’t see the big deal in spewing out the details. Some may even be embarrassed when asked to re-enact the scene. Bear in mind that the majority of those who even bother to ask for a recap are women. Ask a woman for the 100th time and the telling is as vivid and passionate as the first time, while the converse is true for break-up stories where the sparkling eyes are replaced by flashing, angry ones. I have to ask men to be a little more patient with their women when poked and prodded to retell over and over again how they met, how he proposed or how he had a change of heart.
Guys, women in general like stories, and they like to hear the details. If you want to remain in their good graces, it won’t hurt to indulge them every once in a while. And if you find yourself in the very uncomfortable situation of being the token male at a girlfriend’s event …then muster up all the skills you learned from your high school plays and retell your stories with utmost gusto. Just try not to exaggerate, and remember to pepper your story with the occasional joke.
It is precisely because of this that the idea of an all-girls or all-boys night out becomes appealing. We all need to be with a bunch of people who we are completely at home with, who would either welcome our stories, or care enough about us and not intrude on our privacy. Still, there are friends who relentlessly interrogate us until they get every single, juicy detail, while there are some who are content with a simple “Yup, we’re ok” or “Yup, it’s over.”
Sometimes, it’s the other way around: the man is the one who likes to blab and the woman the one who prefers to keep things quiet. This kind of man ends up being the center of attention among his girl’s girlfriends, while the woman is viewed by the man’s buds as a rather ideal girlfriend.
One must be prepared though, that even if years have passed, and the scandal factor of the situation has already paled in comparison to more recent “couplings” or breakups, that there will always be someone who will ask the inevitable question “So, what happened?” Delay by taking a deep breath, and hope that your partner will take the reins and plunge ahead, and yes, try to look like you are still listening. If by chance she looks at you pleadingly, hoping that you will increase the romantic bar by happily recounting the tale then here’s a tip: stay in general mode, and let her come in with the bells and whistles. Trust me, she will. End of story.
As the month of Valentine’s passes, I prepare to be deluged with love stories from people I know, people they know, and people that the people they know, know. There will be stories of love at first sight, engagements, relationship breakthroughs and, break-ups.
“Did you hear” is a common phrase I have come to expect over the telephone or over a plate of appetizers. Even if some stories sound like urban myths, most are good, juicy, private material for about 5 mins. After that, with the speed that gossip travels around the city, the stories become common knowledge. In some cases, they are even plagiarized to fit other people’s retelling of events.
For example, have you heard about the one wherein Mr. Non-Committal realizes the error of his ways when he finally wakes up to realize he’s about to lose the love of his life? I’m sure you have. And if you are a male reader (which you most likely are, if you’re reading this magazine) this story may have been used on you in order to get YOU to commit.
How about the one where this couple had been brother-sister-type friends for many years, until that fateful day their hormones kick in and BAM! – it’s true love. Yeah, it happens all the time and it’s normally justified by the saying that the best relationships are based on true friendship.
There is also the one of Person X ends up with Person Y‘s boyfriend/ girlfriend/ husband/ wife. Ho-hum, you say. It’s scandalous at first, but in 10 years no one’s going to care. In matters of love, if it’s not hot off the press, it’s certainly old news.
I was wondering though if one’s personal relationship should really be for public consumption. I guess that’s dependent on the people involved. Most friends dish out the details to others in moments of kilig, although I think it’s more apparent with women rather than men. Having been privy to several boys’ nights out, I’ve observed that the recounting of the start or end of a relationship is normally greeted with feigned indifference and a few congratulatory (or sympathetic) pats on the back.
Some men don’t see the big deal in spewing out the details. Some may even be embarrassed when asked to re-enact the scene. Bear in mind that the majority of those who even bother to ask for a recap are women. Ask a woman for the 100th time and the telling is as vivid and passionate as the first time, while the converse is true for break-up stories where the sparkling eyes are replaced by flashing, angry ones. I have to ask men to be a little more patient with their women when poked and prodded to retell over and over again how they met, how he proposed or how he had a change of heart.
Guys, women in general like stories, and they like to hear the details. If you want to remain in their good graces, it won’t hurt to indulge them every once in a while. And if you find yourself in the very uncomfortable situation of being the token male at a girlfriend’s event …then muster up all the skills you learned from your high school plays and retell your stories with utmost gusto. Just try not to exaggerate, and remember to pepper your story with the occasional joke.
It is precisely because of this that the idea of an all-girls or all-boys night out becomes appealing. We all need to be with a bunch of people who we are completely at home with, who would either welcome our stories, or care enough about us and not intrude on our privacy. Still, there are friends who relentlessly interrogate us until they get every single, juicy detail, while there are some who are content with a simple “Yup, we’re ok” or “Yup, it’s over.”
Sometimes, it’s the other way around: the man is the one who likes to blab and the woman the one who prefers to keep things quiet. This kind of man ends up being the center of attention among his girl’s girlfriends, while the woman is viewed by the man’s buds as a rather ideal girlfriend.
One must be prepared though, that even if years have passed, and the scandal factor of the situation has already paled in comparison to more recent “couplings” or breakups, that there will always be someone who will ask the inevitable question “So, what happened?” Delay by taking a deep breath, and hope that your partner will take the reins and plunge ahead, and yes, try to look like you are still listening. If by chance she looks at you pleadingly, hoping that you will increase the romantic bar by happily recounting the tale then here’s a tip: stay in general mode, and let her come in with the bells and whistles. Trust me, she will. End of story.
posted by katwoman @ 1:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home