City Hall
City Hall
(Love and Other Catastrophes)
Katrina A. Holigores
What is it with women and celebrations? Why does everything have to be perfect? From a simple party to a walk down the aisle everything has to be absolute magic. Most men I have come across would rather not be bothered with the frivolities of preparing for an event and would rather stay true to the age old one liner “I just want to show up.” Many a lady friend has thrown her hands up in frustration as she badgers, threatens, blackmails and crocodile tears her mate to get more “involved” in the process. To be honest, I like planning things like dinners, trips out of town, but only in terms of logistics, giving it an extra special twist is not my thing, and I can completely understand the rolling eye bit my boyfriends go through when the very mention of “What do you think about….” Comes round. There are just some things that men (and some women) don’t bother with. If you prefer ESPN to ETC. then it’s highly likely that you care about what color dress she wears, what kind of cake she’s going to buy (butter cream and fondant?) and how she’s going to seat people together. Maybe you’re one of those guys who has only two things in mind when it comes to the perfect event...beer and, lots of it.
Sounds a little harsh doesn’t it? May ring true for you, or may just need a little bit of tweaking. Of COURSE you want to get involved in the preparation, but isn’t the big day the BRIDE’S day? You whimper. (this could also apply to a barbecue, a movie date or a reunion…and you may not even be married) In short, in line with any social event that involves making decisions OTHER than logistical ones (even those may be challenging) most men would just rather “show up”. This may be too presumptuous of me but I’m pretty sure that if men had their way, their matrimonial journey would be a simple trip to city hall. That’s it, no frills, not much cash out, just a couple of signatures and you’re good to go. (Straight to the more predictable outcome of a wedding night).The thing is, gentlemen, most women equate the care, precision and “special” touches that they add to transform a mundane to marvelous fete as their love for you. Yeah really. In other words, if you’re not “WOWED” by what is prepared with you in mind, then, she thinks, you’re not “WOWED” with her either.
I know, I know, there are probably lots of able minded, highly successful, uber self assured women out there who would scoff at my seemingly simplistic equation. But I would like to challenge these women to throw the men in their life a surprise birthday or anniversary party and not go COMPLETELY out of their way to outdo the Sultan of Brunei’s party planners. Women are generally more romantic than men, that’s why just simply getting down on one knee in even the most minimal of settings and using cheesy “style mong bulok” lines such as “What are you doing for the rest of your life” STILL WORKS…and how. We women all have a little Martha Stewart (or Bree Van de Camp) eagerly awaiting a chance to shine. And when you are asked for your opinion, it’s because we want you to at least “like” something we like, even if deep inside you don’t really care. Make an effort to care, because it’s important to us. Of course, there will be times that your opinion won’t really make a difference (when a girl decides, that’s normally a done deal) but it would be nice for you to share your thoughts every now and then. (But be ready for some heat)
Am not trying to say any of this to scare you, and this is probably why a lot of men just clam up when asked to comment on this or that…they don’t want to get into a fight, and that’s completely understandable. As someone’s partner though, you do remember that you DO have a say if the particular event involves you ( especially if you’re footing the bill) and even an argument should not be viewed as a negative thing because it WILL help open up the communication lines between the two of you. You never know, she may actually see things in a different light, specifically yours. As always, any relationship is a give and take, and there are always compromises, you can go from city hall to Taj Mahal, but the wonderful thing is you will be taking this journey together. And for the most party, in harmony.
(Love and Other Catastrophes)
Katrina A. Holigores
What is it with women and celebrations? Why does everything have to be perfect? From a simple party to a walk down the aisle everything has to be absolute magic. Most men I have come across would rather not be bothered with the frivolities of preparing for an event and would rather stay true to the age old one liner “I just want to show up.” Many a lady friend has thrown her hands up in frustration as she badgers, threatens, blackmails and crocodile tears her mate to get more “involved” in the process. To be honest, I like planning things like dinners, trips out of town, but only in terms of logistics, giving it an extra special twist is not my thing, and I can completely understand the rolling eye bit my boyfriends go through when the very mention of “What do you think about….” Comes round. There are just some things that men (and some women) don’t bother with. If you prefer ESPN to ETC. then it’s highly likely that you care about what color dress she wears, what kind of cake she’s going to buy (butter cream and fondant?) and how she’s going to seat people together. Maybe you’re one of those guys who has only two things in mind when it comes to the perfect event...beer and, lots of it.
Sounds a little harsh doesn’t it? May ring true for you, or may just need a little bit of tweaking. Of COURSE you want to get involved in the preparation, but isn’t the big day the BRIDE’S day? You whimper. (this could also apply to a barbecue, a movie date or a reunion…and you may not even be married) In short, in line with any social event that involves making decisions OTHER than logistical ones (even those may be challenging) most men would just rather “show up”. This may be too presumptuous of me but I’m pretty sure that if men had their way, their matrimonial journey would be a simple trip to city hall. That’s it, no frills, not much cash out, just a couple of signatures and you’re good to go. (Straight to the more predictable outcome of a wedding night).The thing is, gentlemen, most women equate the care, precision and “special” touches that they add to transform a mundane to marvelous fete as their love for you. Yeah really. In other words, if you’re not “WOWED” by what is prepared with you in mind, then, she thinks, you’re not “WOWED” with her either.
I know, I know, there are probably lots of able minded, highly successful, uber self assured women out there who would scoff at my seemingly simplistic equation. But I would like to challenge these women to throw the men in their life a surprise birthday or anniversary party and not go COMPLETELY out of their way to outdo the Sultan of Brunei’s party planners. Women are generally more romantic than men, that’s why just simply getting down on one knee in even the most minimal of settings and using cheesy “style mong bulok” lines such as “What are you doing for the rest of your life” STILL WORKS…and how. We women all have a little Martha Stewart (or Bree Van de Camp) eagerly awaiting a chance to shine. And when you are asked for your opinion, it’s because we want you to at least “like” something we like, even if deep inside you don’t really care. Make an effort to care, because it’s important to us. Of course, there will be times that your opinion won’t really make a difference (when a girl decides, that’s normally a done deal) but it would be nice for you to share your thoughts every now and then. (But be ready for some heat)
Am not trying to say any of this to scare you, and this is probably why a lot of men just clam up when asked to comment on this or that…they don’t want to get into a fight, and that’s completely understandable. As someone’s partner though, you do remember that you DO have a say if the particular event involves you ( especially if you’re footing the bill) and even an argument should not be viewed as a negative thing because it WILL help open up the communication lines between the two of you. You never know, she may actually see things in a different light, specifically yours. As always, any relationship is a give and take, and there are always compromises, you can go from city hall to Taj Mahal, but the wonderful thing is you will be taking this journey together. And for the most party, in harmony.
posted by katwoman @ 2:49 PM
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