Frankie and Johnny
Frankie and Johnny
Boy meets girl is always an intriguing tale. No matter the situation, it is always peppered with its share of dramatic, comic, romantic (and for the more liberated) pornographic moments. In recent years, a new kind of relationship has been more accepted and for some coveted in our country when in the past, it was very much frowned upon.
Case in point, Frankie (Francesca) and Johnny (uh..John with a ny) are in love. It is total bliss. They are a match on almost every level: mentally, spiritually and emotionally. So when Frankie finally brings Johnny home to meet her parents…the meeting almost ends in tears and a screaming match. Why? Although equal on everything under the skin, the skin part itself is…to put it literally and figuratively, worlds apart. Johnny needs a visa to enter Frankie’s country and vice versa.
Welcome to the wonderful world of interracial romance. The recent influx of movies have made a mint out of the laughable and heartfelt differences that may first repel one from the other, and eventually bring them together. Spanglish, Guess Who, got moviegoers chuckling, and relating to the uncomfortable situations posed on screen. In real life though, it isn’t all that easy. Filipinos tend to live with their parents until they’re off to get married, although for financial reasons, they may opt to stay put even after matrimony. So, (and you’ve heard it before) if you’re still under your parent’s roof, most of the time you’re also under their rules. Their “rules” though sometimes extend to their own biases about what we should do and even who you should date.
For most traditional families, the rule is “stick to your own kind”; they believe that in relationships, the less you have to get over (in other words, differences) the better the chances are for a longer lasting union. Race, of course is a BIG difference and it’s not something that for obvious reasons can be changed by any amount of therapy, plastic surgery, or exorcism. The good thing is the world does move on, and so do tastes, preferences and likes. I have come to observe that in recent years most of my sex, who are also at par with me on the social and educational food chain are showing a distinct favoring of those who hail from a different country. You’re talking change of scene? We’re talking TOTAL change of scene here. In general, if you’re an active, outspoken, outgoing female, then generally every “hotspot” has become a deadspot…so off into unexplored territory we go…
Filipino men find it a little baffling, this attraction toward the white, Latin, black or yellow man. How can these women possibly want something beyond the perfection that lies within their shores?! (Men, of course, say this as they casually flip through the scores of obviously non-Filipina, fair-skinned, light-haired voluptuous flesh in a Victoria’s Secret catalog) “It’s a fetish!” they moan as you take the magazines away. For women, it’s like the great white hope. Pico Iyer, the famous travel writer, once said ‘’Foreignness is an intoxicant…When we see people from our own community we’re particularly sensitive to all the things that are wrong with them. When we see people from another community we’re alive to what’s refreshing about them.” In our land of 76 regions, this can even apply to inter-provincial relationships.
Growing up, I was warned by my well-meaning parents to avoid going out with men who came from a once very affluent province in the south. When I started going out with someone more northern bred, I was warned by well-meaning friends it would never work out. The ironic thing is, both parties gave the same reasons why. Maybe you can ask your girlfriend or female buddies about this, I’m sure they will be more than willing to tell you. In my opinion, the main attraction most women feel when going out with a foreigner is that they can break the pretenses and the conventional rules of conduct that have bound them in their past. They can speak their mind, they can actually prioritize their career (most expatriates are here to work so they don’t mind if their partner is working too), they may learn a foreign language, and an added perk is they may have a “home” one day in another part of the world.
I may be trivializing the attraction a bit, since everyone’s story is different. Here’s a tip though, you are supposed to love a person for what sets them apart from the rest…that’s the reason (hopefully) you chose to be with her. Let her own brand of foreignness be your intoxicant, and allow yourself to be lost in it. In turn, allow her to discover just how open-minded, accepting and passionate you are about her. She will probably be a lot more patriotic.
Boy meets girl is always an intriguing tale. No matter the situation, it is always peppered with its share of dramatic, comic, romantic (and for the more liberated) pornographic moments. In recent years, a new kind of relationship has been more accepted and for some coveted in our country when in the past, it was very much frowned upon.
Case in point, Frankie (Francesca) and Johnny (uh..John with a ny) are in love. It is total bliss. They are a match on almost every level: mentally, spiritually and emotionally. So when Frankie finally brings Johnny home to meet her parents…the meeting almost ends in tears and a screaming match. Why? Although equal on everything under the skin, the skin part itself is…to put it literally and figuratively, worlds apart. Johnny needs a visa to enter Frankie’s country and vice versa.
Welcome to the wonderful world of interracial romance. The recent influx of movies have made a mint out of the laughable and heartfelt differences that may first repel one from the other, and eventually bring them together. Spanglish, Guess Who, got moviegoers chuckling, and relating to the uncomfortable situations posed on screen. In real life though, it isn’t all that easy. Filipinos tend to live with their parents until they’re off to get married, although for financial reasons, they may opt to stay put even after matrimony. So, (and you’ve heard it before) if you’re still under your parent’s roof, most of the time you’re also under their rules. Their “rules” though sometimes extend to their own biases about what we should do and even who you should date.
For most traditional families, the rule is “stick to your own kind”; they believe that in relationships, the less you have to get over (in other words, differences) the better the chances are for a longer lasting union. Race, of course is a BIG difference and it’s not something that for obvious reasons can be changed by any amount of therapy, plastic surgery, or exorcism. The good thing is the world does move on, and so do tastes, preferences and likes. I have come to observe that in recent years most of my sex, who are also at par with me on the social and educational food chain are showing a distinct favoring of those who hail from a different country. You’re talking change of scene? We’re talking TOTAL change of scene here. In general, if you’re an active, outspoken, outgoing female, then generally every “hotspot” has become a deadspot…so off into unexplored territory we go…
Filipino men find it a little baffling, this attraction toward the white, Latin, black or yellow man. How can these women possibly want something beyond the perfection that lies within their shores?! (Men, of course, say this as they casually flip through the scores of obviously non-Filipina, fair-skinned, light-haired voluptuous flesh in a Victoria’s Secret catalog) “It’s a fetish!” they moan as you take the magazines away. For women, it’s like the great white hope. Pico Iyer, the famous travel writer, once said ‘’Foreignness is an intoxicant…When we see people from our own community we’re particularly sensitive to all the things that are wrong with them. When we see people from another community we’re alive to what’s refreshing about them.” In our land of 76 regions, this can even apply to inter-provincial relationships.
Growing up, I was warned by my well-meaning parents to avoid going out with men who came from a once very affluent province in the south. When I started going out with someone more northern bred, I was warned by well-meaning friends it would never work out. The ironic thing is, both parties gave the same reasons why. Maybe you can ask your girlfriend or female buddies about this, I’m sure they will be more than willing to tell you. In my opinion, the main attraction most women feel when going out with a foreigner is that they can break the pretenses and the conventional rules of conduct that have bound them in their past. They can speak their mind, they can actually prioritize their career (most expatriates are here to work so they don’t mind if their partner is working too), they may learn a foreign language, and an added perk is they may have a “home” one day in another part of the world.
I may be trivializing the attraction a bit, since everyone’s story is different. Here’s a tip though, you are supposed to love a person for what sets them apart from the rest…that’s the reason (hopefully) you chose to be with her. Let her own brand of foreignness be your intoxicant, and allow yourself to be lost in it. In turn, allow her to discover just how open-minded, accepting and passionate you are about her. She will probably be a lot more patriotic.
posted by katwoman @ 2:51 PM
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